


Operation Blam – A Tri-State Matchmaking Plot

by kaitlia777



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, M/M, Matchmakers, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 12:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaitlia777/pseuds/kaitlia777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Kurt finds out about Blaine's crush, just before he has a chance to get Blaine to change his mind the phone rings... it's Sam, calling the only other gay guy he knows. Why is he calling? He thinks he's in love with Blaine. Kurt thinks the Blam relationship is the cutest thing ever and plays matchmaker, helping get the boys together. Santana jumps in to help too, and then Rachel, then everyone is Team Blam.  For the Blam Prompt Comm!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation Blam – A Tri-State Matchmaking Plot

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Sorry for any typos. My transcription software doesn’t always understand what I say and I don’t always catch the mistakes. I have trouble typing things by hand since I suffered an injury last year to my right hand and it seizes up if I try to do too much.

**  
**  
**

When he and Blaine reached a place where they were ready to really and their relationship (no more falling into bed when they saw each other or pining away), Kurt had felt rather mature. Sure, they had history, but they found themselves capable of being friends and moving on.

Kurt was truly happy with Adam and he wanted to see Blaine find someone as well. Whenever he brought up the topic, Blaine just stammered and said he didn't have a lot of options in Lima, which was true enough. Lima wasn't New York City.

Still, it was home and sometimes Kurt felt nostalgic… Which was why he found himself scrolling through the Facebook accounts of his friends who were still at McKinley.

Brittany, with her love of photography, surprising computer skills and lack of brain to internet filter, was always the best option if he really wanted news and pictures. It was a good thing he had long ago learned how to translate Brittany-speak into English.

Logging on, he was pleased to see that she had done a massive update recently, adding lots of pictures and videos.

Clicking on an entry labeled FMK, OMG!, he found it was a shaky video of the glee club, clearly all a little drunk, playing Fuck, Marry, Kiss at a party. Sugar was pulling names out of a bowl, three for each player, who had to choose who they would Fuck, Marry or Kiss.

Kitty, a blonde sophomore, rolled her eyes at her three choices. “Kiss Unique, fuck Joe, marry Artie.”

Artie preened at her choice.

Next up was Jake, who said, “I don't even know Jesse is, so kiss him, fuck Tina and marry Brittany.”

Clearly, they must have written down the names of everyone who had ever been in glee club. With a shudder, Kurt wondered if April’s name was floating around in the bowl Sugar was holding.

Marley flushed and hid her face in her hands as she heard her choices and said, “Kiss Puck, f…Kitty and marry Jake!”

Then it was Sam's turn and Sugar grinned. “Okay, Sam, your choices are… Santana… Blaine…and Kurt!”

Sam blinked and Tina giggled. “This just confirms it! You’re a gay magnet, Sam!”

With a sigh, Sam said, “Well, since I don't will lose any body parts, I'd kiss Santana…and I’d marry Blaine…so, I’d sleep with Kurt. No, I’m not going to say the other word.”

The fact that Sam didn't seem uncomfortable saying that was surprising to Kurt, but no one on the screen seemed shocked.

Blaine just giggled, flushed from alcohol and slumped against Sam's side, staring up at him. “I'd totally marry you too, Sam!”

“I know,” Sam replied fondly, wrapping an arm around Blaine to keep them upright and he didn't flinch when Blaine snuggled him….

The video clip ended their and Kurt blinked at the frozen image, at the way Blaine was gazing at Sam….

It was nothing, Kurt told himself. Just drunk Blaine being drunk and affectionate.

He scrolled through dozens of pictures, glee club, Cheerios practices, Sam's swim team (thank you Brittany), Sam and Blaine in their silly superhero costumes…then froze on one labeled SLEEPOVER WITH MY BOYS!

It was a selfie of a sleep rumpled, barely awake Brittany in a pink T-shirt leaning against a sleeping Sam (who still managed to look like a model in his white wife beater (and who decided that was a good name for shirt?)). On Sam's other side, Blaine was asleep, un-gelled head pillowed on Sam's chest, palm over his heart.

Okay….

He was fully aware that Blaine and Sam had gotten very close over the past year, but something just wasn't sitting right for Kurt. Then he saw it.

A simple picture of Blaine and Sam, seated across from each other at a study table, both leaning in towards the same book, but neither looking at the text. Sam was looking at Blaine, smile bright and stunning, clearly delighted by something. Blaine was gazing back at him adoringly, doing the full on Blaine Anderson heart eyes of doom that would outshine a puppy on its best day. It's 

Blaine totally had a crush on Sam.

Who was straight, but, as Tina said, clearly a gay magnet. Girls who were in love with girls used him to pretend otherwise and gay guys wanted him….

Not the sort of thing that ended well for anyone involved.

Kurt knew from personal experience the crushing on a straight friend inevitably lead to awkwardness and harsh words. As the voice of experience, it would behoove him to step in and try to convince Blaine that, no matter how sweet and kind and gorgeous Sam was, straight boys were not comfortable with gay boys crushing on them.

How to say that without sounded like a jealous ex was a bit of an issue though and Kurt sighed wearily, rubbing his face.

This called for cheesecake.

He was on slice number two when his phone rang, Sam's name popping up on the display. Funny coincidence….

“Sam!” he said brightly upon answering. “It's been a while! How are you?”

They made small talk and filled each other in on the antics of their respective friends for about 20 minutes before Sam's voice got serious and he said, “Kurt… You and Blaine, he says you two are doing friend thing now and you've been encouraging him to move on….”

“That's right,” Kurt agreed cautiously. “He should get out there and meet someone.” Sam was quiet and Kurt realized he knew. “So, you caught onto Blaine’s crush.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh Sam, I'm sorry,” Kurt sighed. “I'm sure he knows it's silly. Please don't freak out….”

“What? No, I've known about it for a while. You like who you like, right?” Sam sputtered quickly and Kurt could picture his startled expression. “It's flattering.”

“You know…and you're okay with it?” Kurt asked, a little baffled. “That's very enlightened, Sam.”

Sam made an embarrassed noise. “So, yeah, I know. We talked, hugged it out…but now that it's out there, I… Britt keeps telling me that I'm a half dolphin like her, but I don't know. I never really looked at guys in real life and thought wow, but I….”

His voice wavered and trailed off and Kurt waited a moment before prompting, “It's okay Sam, you can tell me.”

“I like Blaine,” Sam almost whispered, “and I’m so scared because whenever I fall for someone it’s good for a while, but then they find someone or something better and leave me and I don't think I could handle that. He’s my best friend, Kurt! I don’t want to lose him.”

Eyes wide, Kurt tried to process what Sam was saying. “So, you’re all wound up because you're afraid of things might end,” Kurt clarified, “not because you're having a heterosexual man-crush crisis?”

That at least earned an amused snort. “No hetero crisis,” Sam confirmed. “I mean, yeah, it was a little surprising at first, but I really do believe love is love. I didn't expect it, but falling for a guy never seemed like a total impossibility…just unlikely. But Blaine…I….”

“You've got a good heart, Sam. Trust it,” Kurt encouraged gently. “Go slow, if that makes you feel better. I was on Facebook earlier and I saw some pictures… The way Blaine looks at you, I know that look. He's really, really likes you too.”

There was a rush as Sam exhaled and said, “Thanks, Kurt.”

“Sam,” Kurt said before the boy could say his goodbyes. “You know I love Quinn and Santana and Mercedes and Brittany…but you’re great. They were silly to let you go. You deserve someone who can appreciate how special you are.”

Another shaky breath. “You too, Man. How are you and Adam?”

“Really amazing,” Kurt told him with a grin, figuring Sam would appreciate the change of subject from his own feelings. “We're meeting for dinner in a couple hours.”

He could hear the smile in Sam's voice when he replied, “A couple hours! I should let you go get on with your pre-date moisturizing.”

“Oh, ha ha.”

“Don't deny it,” Sam teased. “Remember, I lived with you for a year…and went on a very confusing emergency run to Origins once.”

That was true. A few weeks before his initial NYADA audition, Kurt had a mini breakdown when he discovered that he had run out of his favorite intensive, under eye moisturizer. It had been a Saturday and he actually didn't have to be anywhere, but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back and Sam had found him practically hyperventilating.

Calmly, he had pried the empty tub out of Kurt's hand, then head bundled Kurt back into his bed and rubbed his back until he fell asleep…and, when Kurt woke again, there was a new tub of moisturizer waiting on his bedside table.

“I'll have you know, I've streamlined my routine,” Kurt said, “but yes, I should get ready. Keep in the loop, all right.”

“I will. Thanks again, Kurt. Bye!”

For several minutes, he sat there, staring at his phone, browsing when a fork entered his line of sight and Santana stole a bite of cheesecake. “Hey! Mine.”

She raised an unapologetic brow. “You weren’t eating it. You were staring creepily at your phone.”

“Contemplatively, not creepily,” he corrected. “I just had an interesting conversation with Sam.”

“Huh,” she responded, eyeing the remains of the cheesecake. “Trouty and the Hobbit finally realize that they’re hot for each other?”

Kurt stared at her. “What? How did you know?”

Snorting delicately, she said, “Yeah, they didn't really interact much of the wedding, did they? You haven't seen them together. It's horrifyingly cute and makes Sam marginally less boring. Plus, Britt thinks they're adorable and wants Blam to happen.”

“Blam?”

“Blaine and Sam. Blam,” Santana elaborated and he slid the cheesecake across the table toward her.

“Sam isn't boring,” Kirk told her chidingly, hoping the offering of cheesecake would make her more receptive to hearing him out. “He's just too sweet and lacks the streak of inner viciousness that you and I have cultivated as a survival mechanism over the years.”

She nodded. “Which is why he needs someone like Frodo around to look after him, make sure he avoids any future apocalypse weddings and can keep him from wandering off into oncoming traffic…and, in return, Sam seems to have convinced Blaine that he isn’t actually someone's grandfather and that it’s okay to relax and be a stupid teenage boy.”

Kurt frowned. “Okay, number one, Blaine always knew how to have fun and relax and number two, Sam is not helpless.”

Rolling her eyes expansively, Santana said, “I wasn't being literal.”

She was clearly lying.

“Sure.”

“Well, did you two ever play nighttime paintball at the golf course with Puck and end up hiding in the trees when you got chased off by security?” she asked and Kurt gaped. “No, because that's typical idiot boy stuff and you and Blaine were too busy being so intensely and nauseatingly in love with each other that you didn't have time for anything else. Stupid fun is good.”

He smirked. “Oh, we had fun.”

That got a grin from her. “Yeah, well, though have that kind of fun with your beanie wearing Hugh Grant and tomorrow we'll figure out how to help those two dorks get their shit together.”

“You want to play matchmaker?”

She shrugged. “Britt wants them together. I want Britt to be happy.”

Operation Blam was a go then.

**  
**

Three weeks later, the ranks of Operation Blam had expanded from Kurt and Santana to include Brittany, Sugar, Puck, Jake, Marley, Unique, Ryder, Kitty, Artie, Rachel, Mike and, somehow, Jeff, Nick and Trent from the Warblers.

Unfortunately, none of their plans had succeeded in nudging Blaine and Sam any closer to acting on their mutual attraction. According to the current members of new Directions, the amount of sad, longing stares and lethal heart-eyes was growing exponentially.

So far, they had locked the two of them in the costume shop and, instead of taking advantage of the alone time (not that they didn't spend time alone together already), the two idiots climbed out the window.

Then Marley had come up with the idea of putting notes from secret admirers in their lockers…but that had just made them paranoid, as they decided someone was engaging them in psychological warfare.

Artie fixed a duet assignment so they ended up singing together but, as they sang together a lot already, this had little effect other than ratcheting up the UST.

During a four city (three state) Skype meeting, (Kurt, Santana and Rachel in New York City, Mike in Chicago, the Warblers in Westerville and the rest in Lima), it was Puck who proposed, “Well, what about jealousy? That always does something.”

Since Blaine was still harboring the illusion that Sam played exclusively for Team Hetero, they figured they'd have to make Sam jealous enough to make a move.

“Get them in a room with Sebastian,” Trent said with a nod. “He'll be all over Blaine in a minute.”

That was true, Kurt thought and said, “Can you guys get him to….”

“Ooh!” Sugar interrupted excitedly. “How about a Bury the Hatchet/No Hard Feelings party at my house!”

“I'll bring the booze,” Puck offered and Rachel, Santana and Kurt exchanged looks.

“Someone has to video that hot mess for us,” Santana demanded.

On Friday night, Rachel, Santana, Kurt and a bemused Adam surrounded Kurt's computer, watching the secure video streaming from Sugar’s basement.

The party had been in full swing for an hour and Puck had been handing out drinks with a free hand. Most of the Warblers seemed to be having a grand old time, dancing that the girls. None of them had been happy with Hunter’s unsportsmanlike behavior, but they had gone along with him, afraid of being tossed off the team like Trent, so they weren't too said that Hunter had been expelled.

“Look, look! Meekrat is on the move,” Kurt said, pointing to where Sebastian was once again sidling close to Blaine, laying a hand on his arm.

Sam, standing beside Blaine (as he had been all night), tensed and took a drink.

Whatever Sebastian was saying earned him a little smile, but Blaine shook his head, smile faltering when Sebastian tugged on his arm.

Immediately, Sam's hand was wrapping around Sebastian's wrist, pulling him off of Blaine and very obviously telling him to back off.

“Oh, I wish we had audio!” Rachel sighed, riveted on the action as Sebastian said something to Sam, glancing between Blaine and Sam.

Sam replied, then froze and Blaine whirled to face him, eyes huge. Sebastian looked startled himself.

Then Blaine was grabbing Sam's wrist and leading him off to the far side of the room where they had a hushed conversation full of downcast eyes from Sam and confusion from Blaine.

Suddenly, Sam's gaze snapped up to Blaine's face and he said something that seemed very serious. Blaine's expression softened and he replied, fingers sliding from Sam's wrist to his hand and squeezing.

Sam nodded and wet his lips, free hand raising to touch Blaine's cheek as he bent for kiss. Blaine met him halfway, standing up on his toes and gripping Sam's shoulder.

“Operation Blam is a success!” Rachel said and Kurt high-fived her.

Santana smirked. “Our matchmaking skills are bad ass!”

“Uh…the young man you referred to as Meekrat is heading for…Oh, nevermind. Interception,” Adam mused. “You have interesting friends, Kurt.”

While Sam and Blaine seemed to be lost in cases and conversation by the wall, they had missed Sebastian's approach as well as Puck and Kitty’s intervention. The two of them had herded Sebastian away and he was looking at them like he didn't know who to be more afraid of.

Kitty was definitely more terrifying. Word was she had exacted revenge upon some mean girls who had been harassing Unique by putting Nair in their shampoo, adding super laxatives and weight gain powder to their smoothies and blending puréed poison ivy into their face creams.

In short, fucking around with Kitty’s friends was a bad idea. Santana claimed she was atoning for her behavior earlier in the year.

Kurt was a little intrigued to know what she might do to Sebastian…if someone may be mentioned that he had once almost blinded Blaine with a rock salt filled slushee….

Shaking his head, he shut down a laptop. Now that they have achieved the goal of Operation Blam, it was a little creepy to keep watching.

Tomorrow, he'd call Sam and Blaine to say hi and get the details.


End file.
